the last song i'm wasting on you
by Lumiellie
Summary: After being abused by his boyfriend, Sirius, Remus Lupin finds comfort in Severus Snape. Severus doesn't want anything to do with it, but Remus is too broken. Rated for mentions of sexual assault and excessive swearing.


**WARNINGS: Mentions of rape (no details) and PTSD. Do I require a warning for angst? No, this is seriously the definition of angst. It has as much angst as a teenager. Also excessive swearing.**

A knock at the front door had awakened a sleeping Severus Snape. He was having pleasant dreams where he was skipping in a daisy meadow with Lily, but someone had to go and wake him up at this unholy hour on a Wednesday. If someone had sent him a letter informing him of their intentions to visit, he wouldn't have minded it. But the knocking was inexcusable.

Seconds after Severus opened the door, a red-eyed and messy-haired Remus Lupin threw himself into his arms.

"Get away from me, werewolf," Severus snarled.

It didn't work and the werewolf muttered something that Severus couldn't decipher. Staring into the man's coppery hazel eyes, Severus saw an expression of absolute hurt. _Is this what Lily would have wanted you to do? Leave a man who is broken on your doorstep?_ he thought to himself.

Severus proceeded to allow the werewolf to cry into his shoulder, all with a secret look of disgust on his face. Honestly, he wanted to vomit. Shouldn't the werewolf be playing in the bedroom with his boyfriend, Sirius? Or was the little werewolf sad that James had been killed?

Unfortunately, Sirius had been given a fair trial at the Ministry where it had been determined that it was Peter Pettigrew who had been a Death Eater and the Secret Keeper for the Potters. He had been sentenced to life in Azkaban and Sirius had gotten by without being sentenced. Harry Potter had been sent to the Dursleys where his Godfather would check on him no less than three times a week.

"Come _on_ Remus, the entrance to my house isn't the best place to have an emotional breakdown," Severus hissed.

His demand was met by more sobbing as Severus moved to the living room. Remus attempted to walk into the living room and made it to the entrance of the room before falling to his knees, sobbing even harder.

"Get a grip on yourself, werewolf!" Severus said.

This led to the werewolf laying on the ground, rolling himself into the fetal position. Remus whimpered quietly,"Y-you h-hate him."

"Speak up, Lupin."

"You hate him, right?"

"Who do I hate? I am getting extremely irritated with you. You wake me up with your incessant knocking and then you proceed to sob all over my nicest robes. You disgust me Lupin!"

Remus covered his head with his scarred hands, something Severus was all-too-familiar with. It reminded him of the times he would spend at home, pretending to hide so his father wouldn't hurt him.

"Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut," Severus mumbled, seeing how his words caused so much distress.

This had very little effect, but Remus did peek his head out for a short second before ducking it back into his hands. The man continued to lay in the fetal position as he whimpered, "D-don't you hate S-Sirius?"

 _Was that some sort of trick question? Why would he be asking something that he already knows the answer to?_ "No, I love him for the way he treated me back at Hogwarts," Severus said.

Understanding the sarcastic tone in Severus' voice, Remus whined, "I ha-hate him too."

Severus was confused by this. _I thought they were dating each other. Why would Remus hate Sirius? Is it because he wanted to get vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate?_

Severus asked, "Why do you hate him?"

"H-he raped me," Remus cried.

Severus didn't know how to react to this. The furthest anyone had ever gone with him was kissing, but he really didn't reveal that to anyone. In fact, the most abusive situation he had ever had to deal with was from Tobias who took immense pleasure in beating his son. Yet, no one should ever deal with that pain, even if they were someone as truly awful as Remus.

He drew his hands into fists and couldn't contain the spout of anger that blurted out of his mouth. "That fucking _bastard!"_

"He's not a bastard!" Remus defended. "I love him."

"Why would you love someone that does something so terrible, something completely uncalled for?"

"He told me that no one would ever love a werewolf like me. He also said that I was lucky that he loved me. Who would love me?"

"Remus, there's always someone who loves you. And as much as I hate you and Sirius, I truly don't believe you deserved this."

"I deserved it. He can't control himself when he's horny."

"Yes, he fucking can. Just because he's in the mood doesn't mean that he can have sex with you whenever he pleases."

"I-I told him I didn't want to have sex with him, but what does he do? He fucking uses a spell that renders any of my movement useless and had his way with me."

Remus closed his eyes. Severus watched as his face twitched, almost as though he was reliving the whole experience. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and he seemed to be whimpering that he was "nothing more than a sacrifice."

It was only when Severus hugged him and whispered, "You're going to be safe," that the man stopped trembling.

At that very moment, he vowed to make sure that Sirius would never hurt Remus again.

 **Thanks for reading! I swear, my writing keeps getting darker and darker.**

 **Words: 876**

 **Position: Prefect #2**

 **House: Gryffindor**

 **Prompt:** **[Speech] "Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut."**

Also written for the Golden Snitch Forum with the following Prompts

(Word) Expression

(Word) Sacrifice

(Day) Wednesday

(Colour) Copper

(Word) Letter


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